The years that came back
by Shennya
Summary: Fury decides to bring a new soldier to the Avengers tower. A soldier SHIELD kept in secret two years in order to help him recover from the torture Hydra made him endure. And when Steve sees this man for the "first" time his world changes completely because that man is the same he thought he had lost. It's Bucky. His Bucky. (Stucky)
1. Chapter 1 Homecoming

**Chapter 1**

Natasha knew Steve; she had seen him worried about people, focused in the plans they had to come up with before something explodes and someone dies and she had watched him smile but she was too smart and had known so many people before to know that kind of smiles weren't entirely happy. She had talked to Sam about it; both of them were the closest friends that Steve had and they worried constantly about him. And they worried even more when the Avengers had nothing to fight for, when the peace and calm forced them to become normal (if that was possible) and to be part of the world again. Because Steve was a great leader and an excellent fighter, for sure, but when it became to have a normal life, he was totally lost. He was really _the man out of time_. Natasha had agreed with the news when gave him that title, because despite of his efforts, Steve didn't seem like he fitted in the 21st century, he was sad (even he didn't say a thing about it) and he seemed like he missed something… or someone?

"Maybe he misses Peggy," she suggested Sam.

But Falcon's answer was a firm and decided shake of the head.

"I mean… he misses her, for sure and I think she was like a sister to him, like family, but I don't think she's the reason why he's acting like this." Sam said. And then he told her about that day after the mission in Sokovia, when he tried his best to make him feel comfortable enough to talk. 'Man you need to tell someone about it in order to move on.' But Steve's answer was cold 'maybe I don't wanna move on.'

"So it has to be a person," Black Widow whispered.

"What do we do then?" Sam demanded, more desperate. "You have read his file; you know what he did that day when he ended in the ice."

Natasha nodded and realized that neither of them wanted to say it out loud; Steve had made a sacrifice in order to save the lives of thousands of people, in order to erase a powerful organization that wanted to control everything, but he didn't need to sacrifice his life, he could've told Peggy the coordinates to find him and he didn't. Because Steve Rogers wanted to die that day.

"Perhaps he needs someone to spend his time with," but the moment the words came out of her mouth she realized they were ridiculous.

Sam just rolled his eyes.

"Of course, Nat. Like we don't know how all your attempts of trying to get him a date have failed."

Natasha sighed.

"Well we need to find out what's troubling him first and then we'll help him." She said and she saw the determination on Sam's face when the man nodded.

The thing she didn't know was the answer would come to them that same day.

* * *

That evening they all met up at the living room of the new Avengers building. Tony had called them earlier to have a "meeting" with all of them. Natasha kept herself from rolling her eyes when she saw the man standing in front of the group like he was about to say something deadly serious. But if something bad had happened she'd have been the first to know, so it couldn't be that bad. Tony just loved the attention too much.

He was trying his best to look serious though, but they knew him too well by now so no one seemed worried; Wanda and Vision were sitting on the sofa, in front of them, Sam and Clint were chatting about movies while Rhodey was standing close, apparently trying to tell a story or something and Steve… well at least he was the only one really paying attention to Tony. And she knew the reason why: Steve was hoping for a new mission; he needed a distraction. But he wasn't the only one who seemed interested, Peter was looking at Tony intently, but he was still fascinated and too happy to be with them that everything that came out of Tony's mouth was like the most interesting thing in the world to him. Natasha found that really funny.

"After months of indifference and silence, our very old friend Fury will come to the building with a new Avenger" Tony began, staring at his watch, which probably was the thing he was getting the information from.

"New Avenger?" Rhodey arched an eyebrow. He was looking at Tony with curiosity.

"Yes. Fury wants us to meet this guy and let him join the team, but it's up to us if we let him in or not." Tony informed.

"What do you know about him? Is he like me? How old is he?" Peter's eyes were open wide with hope. He desperately wanted someone younger than him to join the Avengers; he was tired of the others teasing him constantly.

"Petey boy just stop that. I've told you we can´t let another five year-old join us, we already have you," Tony said.

"I'm fifteen almost sixteen!" The boy protested, but the billionaire just rolled his eyes.

"Yeah big difference… so as I was saying about our new soldier," Tony whistled and smiled at something he was looking at on his watch, something he didn't share with the rest of them. "Wow, Fury got us a handsome one. Pray this guy looks as good as he looks in the pictures."

Natasha huffed.

"Stark…"

"I'm sorry I just got lost in his eyes." He joked. Natasha knew that man was in love with Pepper, but he couldn't help himself when it came to that kind of comments. He used to say that when he was really impressed with someone, which just made her feel curiosity for the first time.

"Our soldier is like you, Cap. He was born in 1917, lost in battle; apparently everyone thought he was dead…"

Black Widow was always aware of her surroundings; she always noticed. So it wasn't a surprise that she was the only one who noticed when Steve tensed at the words.

"He lost an arm and Hydra gave him a metal new one after they captured him," Tony's voice became weak. "He was tortured; they took all of his memories and brainwashed him till he lost his humanity. They turned him into a weapon. He was used by Hydra until SHIELD found him in a cryo chamber in Siberia."

The place was filled with silence; every one of them was processing the information in their own way. There was also uncertainty; that man could be truly dangerous for them.

"SHIELD woke him up two years ago and kept him as a secret till they came up with a solution to erase Hydra's programming inside his head. He's also recovering his memories…"

"Hold on a second. How do we know he's not a threat anymore? Can we really trust this guy?" Rhodey asked.

"I don't know about him, but I trust Fury," Natasha said. Everyone in the room looked at her. "He wouldn't bring someone here if he wasn't sure that he's cured. And even if he turns out to be bad, I'm sure we can handle it."

She could see in their eyes they were really thinking about the whole situation; it wasn't something easy to decide, but at least she felt confident about Fury.

"Nat's right," Clint spoke then. "Besides, I think everyone deserves a second chance."

She smiled at him; of course Clint would say that, after all he suffered when Loki came and took his will to turn him into a puppet. She knew he still felt guilty about what he did then.

Steve nodded and after that everyone seemed more willing to give the man a chance.

"I'm glad we all are on the same page here. Because Fury just arrived to the building with our new soldier," Tony announced, smiling.

By that moment everyone's curiosity increased; they were looking at the elevator intently, waiting for it to open. Steve, on the other hand, seemed tired and sad. He had lost interest and went to the kitchen instead to make himself some coffee.

Nat followed him.

"You okay?"

"Of course, why wouldn't I?" He said, but his voice was cold and empty. God, that man was a terrible liar.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" She insisted, ignoring the man's previous answer. She heard him sigh but he never looked away from the coffee maker.

"No."

"Okay… I'd be here if you need me. Or I could just call Sam if you prefer to talk to him instead." She said before she sat next to Clint.

The soldier, Nat thought. It was because of him that Steve was acting like that. Perhaps he just wanted to avoid the man because they both were born in the same era; Steve didn't need another reminder of what he had lost.

She became distracted when she saw the elevator's door open. Fury entered the room followed by the soldier. And she had to admit that Tony was right; the man was handsome. His hair was dark brown, like chocolate, combed in a bun. It looked like he hadn't shaved in a few days, because she could see his dark stubble, but somehow it suited him well, she even thought it looked sexy on him. But the thing she liked the most about him were his green eyes; they were shining with kindness and joy; the eyes that, at the moment, were scanning the room, looking for something.

Then the man grinned and his smile was so warm that Nat couldn't believe someone with such a horrible past could smile like that.

"Your metal arm is awesome, dude!" Peter commented, ending the silence. His eyes were opened with excitement. "Can I touch it?"

He tried to leave the couch but Wanda took him by the wrist and made him sit again.

"Calm down. Let him talk first," she whispered, smiling tenderly at him. And Peter did as she said, but he didn't look very pleased about it.

The soldier smiled at the boy and Nat could've sworn that Peter blushed bright red at the moment. She was almost tempted to call Steve to make him watch the scene, it was really fun.

"My name is James Buchanan Barnes, but my friends used to call me–"

He was suddenly interrupted by a strong noise that came out the kitchen. All the heads turned to the same direction, but just a few of them could see Steve Rogers, standing with a shocked expression on his face and to his feet, the broken pieces of a blue mug. He entered the living room, shaking.

"Bucky?" His voice came out so soft and insecure that Nat could almost feel the pain in that one single word. In his eyes were so many emotions that she couldn't read.

"Steve, I thought… I'm so glad that…" But the soldier lost his ability to speak with coherence and started babbling. The look in his eyes softened.

"You two knew each other?" Tony asked, shocked. He was looking at his watch with a frown, blaming it for not having that information.

He was completely ignored; Steve looked like he had forgotten everything and everyone else, he could only see the man in front of him. Natasha saw tears forming in the corner of her friend's eyes and thought she was looking at something intimate, something that she shouldn't see, but she was too confused and surprised to react properly. Everyone seemed to be petrified.

"Bucky," Steve said again and the name came out like a prayer. He closed the distance between them and took the man's face in his hands. He was shaking. Slowly, he began to touch the soldier's face; his fingers were tender and careful like he was afraid that his touch could make the man fade away. "You're… you're alive! I'm not dreaming this time, am I?"

It was heartbreaking. Nat hated those words: _this time._ So he had dreamt about him before and the stubborn idiot had never come to ask for help. He never told them about it; he had been suffering in silence all those years.

Steve began to sob and fell to his knees in front of the soldier, James… his Bucky. Steve took him by the waist and held him close to his body like that man was his salvation. Bucky stroked his head a couple of times before he knelt too.

"Steve, hey… listen to me, pal. Look at me. I'm here and this is real," he assured him. "I bet I always appear in your dreams in that old uniform, don't I? I never thought you liked it that much."

Natasha knew he was just joking in order to make the other smile, but she'd never forget the look on Steve's face when Bucky said that; the man was blushing bright red. If the circumstances were different she would've taken a picture for sure. And then Steve smiled. Both men finally stood up.

"I'm sorry… I shouldn't have come. I thought you knew," Bucky said looking worried.

"What?" Steve blinked. He seemed hurt. He touched Bucky's face with his right hand; his thumb began to trace the other's cheekbone. "Bucky… if I had known you were alive… if I had had a clue, anything, you know I wouldn't have stopped looking for you."

And Bucky believed him; Natasha could see that in the way his eyes sparkled. Well not only him but everyone in the room believed Steve Rogers in that moment. There was so much devotion behind those words.

Sam got closer to her.

"Well at least we know now," he whispered and she nodded in response. It seemed Bucky was the half Steve was longing for all those years.

"Yes, because you're such a stubborn punk, you always were," Bucky replied, but he didn't seem angry, he was smiling.

"I truly was, still am, jerk." Steve conceded, looking so happy, like that was something to be proud of. But his smile faded away quickly. "But… when you started to remember, why didn't you look for me?"

"I couldn't get out the building SHIELD kept me in," he answered. "I wasn't in my right mind. I was dangerous. I didn't know you were alive, not at first… they didn't tell me. They informed me about you just a couple of days ago and they told me you knew about me… so I thought you didn't want to see me, but I didn't blame you… I understood I–"

Bucky couldn't finish; Steve turned away and planted himself in front of Fury. His shoulders were tense, his body was shaking with anger, and there was fire in his eyes when he looked at him.

Steve's hands clenched into fists at his sides. The super soldier looked threatening and for a second everyone held their breath. But Fury… he didn't move an inch, he appeared to be calm, with his hands behind his back watching Steve's reaction like it was something he knew it'd happened.

"You _knew_ ," Steve accused; that last word came out in the form of a growl. "Since SHIELD brought him in you knew who he was, you hid him and you… _you kept him away from me_ all these years."

It never occurred to Natasha that a man could communicate with growls till she heard Steve _speaking_ or at least trying to do so with Fury. He was so angry that it seemed he couldn't say all he wanted to.

"It was the right thing to do, Rogers," Fury said. "Barnes couldn't control himself and he was a threat for everyone around him."

Steve took a step ahead; his nostrils flared as he breathed in, it looked like he was trying to control himself, but it clearly wasn't working. He took a second step and, out of instinct, Nat and Clint jumped from the couch. She was sure (almost) Steve wouldn't hurt Fury, but she had to be prepared for everything.

"Steve… Stevie" Bucky got close to his friend and put a hand on his shoulder. The other man seemed to relax instantly at the contact. And when Steve finally turned around and looked at him all the anger disappeared from his eyes. Bucky took him by the arm and guided him to the couch and the ones that were still sitting stoop up immediately, making room for the two super soldiers.

"Look at me and listen. Fury did what he had to and for that I'm glad," he began, once they were sitting next to each other. He tried to ignore Steve's pained expression. "I wasn't human then, I was just a weapon and I would've hurt you and the worst thing is you would've let me 'cause you're a selfless kind idiot who doesn't listen to reason."

Steve wanted to protest, but Bucky shook his head.

"Look at me in the eye and tell me you would've fought me, tell me you would've stopped me no matter how much you would've hurt me."

But Steve just looked devastated. Natasha almost rolled her eyes; it was like seeing a very sad puppy.

"I can't hurt you, Buck. I'd never do that."

"I know because you're–"

"An idiot," Steve interrupted him, grinning from ear to ear. He didn't even let Bucky protest because he took him by the waist, lifted him as if he weighed nothing and put him on his lap.

Natasha learned then their Captain became a touch-starved puppy when Bucky Barnes was around.

Bucky flushed; he realized in that moment that they were not, in fact, alone.

"What are you doing?" He protested and tried to escape but the arms that were holding him were too strong for him.

And Steve smirked at him, he actually did that. Black Widow was in shock, she wasn't expecting to see that kind of smile on his friend's face. He even buried his face in Bucky's neck; they all could hear him taking a deep breath. Barnes shivered.

"We're not fifteen, Steve. We can't do this anymore."

"Don't care," it was the man's response. He didn't bother to look up.

Barnes looked at them and smiled like he was trying to apologize for that.

"This may take more time than I thought," he said. "Maybe if you give us a few minutes–"

Steve growled and pressed the man closer to his body. Bucky just rolled his eyes.

"You know we're almost hundred years old, right? Don't you think it's time for you to stop acting like a child?"

Another growl was the answer.

"Fine!" Bucky sighed. "A couple of hours then?"

But Steve growled again and the other man huffed in response. He made another attempt to free himself, but it was pointless.

"I can't believe I forgot you were such a little shit, Rogers. And you still are!" The soldier said, but there was no venom in his tone.

Steve's body started to shake and Nat could hear the laughter that escaped from his lips. Steve Rogers was shaking with laughter because he was truly happy and the only sad thing was Bucky had no idea how important that was for the rest of them.

"We see you two tomorrow then," Nat told Bucky; she knew Steve was listening but the only one really paying attention was Barnes.

"Yeah, uhh… it was nice to meet you all," he replied.

"It was our pleasure, trust me," Sam added and he winked at him. Nat wanted to high five him for that but she controlled herself. Bucky looked really confused already.

"Can somebody please tell me what the hell just happened in there?" Tony asked when they all were finally outside. He looked at Fury.

"Sorry Stark, but I need to go. I really don't have the time to talk."

The rest of the Avengers were as clueless as Tony, so they remained silent. Nat and Sam had other plans and decided not to discuss them with anyone.

"What do you think then?" Sam said when they were finally alone in the hallway. "Do you think Steve told him? You think they were–"

Nat's snort was better than an answer.

"Come on! We know Steve well enough; he's an emotional constipated idiot who hasn't and won't tell him how he feels even if someone is pointing a gun at his stubborn head. And Barnes, well he looks like the oblivious type if you ask me."

Sam sighed.

"So… we should help them?"

Nat grinned.

"Don't worry, we will. But we should give them time first. If they still acting like the idiots I think they are, we'll take matters into our own hands."


	2. Chapter 2 Breakfast time

**Chapter 2**

 **Breakfast time**

"Steve?" He tried after a few minutes, when he was sure they were completely alone.

"Hmm?"

A soft smile appeared on Bucky's face, he ran his fingers through Steve's blond hair. The other man relaxed under his touch and managed (to his astonishment) to press him closer to his body. At least he could still breathe. He hadn't realized how much the serum had improved Steve's strength till that moment.

Despite of being incredibly glad he had seen Steve; the whole thing had shaken him terribly. He'd thought Steve knew he was alive and even if he had agreed with that, thinking his friend didn't want to see him was horrible; it hurt him and made him feel incredibly alone.

But after what happed, everything had changed. Fury and the whole SHIELD had lied to him; Steve didn't know he was alive. He felt silly after watching Steve's pained expression; it was clearly obvious that man would never have stopped looking for him. He was too stubborn and loyal to do that. Bucky still didn't know how to feel about that.

"We need to talk," he said then.

"I'm listening," Steve replied; his voice was muffled by the other man's skin. Bucky stopped himself from shivering when he felt Steve's lips touching his neck by accident as he spoke. He didn't even want to think why his body reacted like that.

"I want to look at you in the eye while we talk," the man insisted, trying to make himself as clear as possible, part of him started to think that Steve was acting like a dumb on purpose.

Steve looked up at him with a smirk on his face; his hands were still firmly placed around Bucky's waist. He even tried to look innocent when the other man arched his eyebrows at him. Of course he was doing it on purpose, the bastard.

"I meant I'd like to sit on the couch," he told him, making an incredible effort to look serious. But it was really hard, Steve was acting like a ten year-old and it was kind of cute.

"Are you uncomfortable?"

"No."

"Then I don't see the problem in–"

"Steve!"

Finally, after a very dramatic and sad sigh that came out of his friend's mouth, Bucky could sit on the couch next to Steve. And while he missed those big arms around him, he was glad to be free of that embrace, because Steve's warmth was really distracting.

He closed his eyes just a few moments; he had to be prepared to confess everything that he remembered to his old friend. He had to tell Steve about his past as the Winter Soldier, but he was afraid. Not only was he terrified about those memories coming out of his lips, but about the possibility of losing Steve's after that. He didn't know if their friendship could survive that. But he had to, Steve deserved to know.

He felt two hands touching his and when he opened his eyes again he could see Steve's worried expression directed at him.

"Bucky?"

"I'm fine," he assured and tried to smile, even when he knew that smile couldn't reach his eyes. "I… I want to tell you everything that happened when I was the Winter Soldier, at least everything that I can remember."

A dark shadow of pain covered Steve's eyes and Bucky knew he was already suffering for him.

"When I finish… if you don't want to see me anymore, if you don't want to talk to me, I'll… understand. You just have to let me know and I'll tell Fury to put me somewhere else–"

Bucky couldn't say more because Steve was leaning in at the moment; the grip on his hand became tighter but not enough to hurt him.

"Please never say that again," Steve let out with difficulty, like he was trying to control his own emotions. Then his eyes shone in a way Bucky didn't remember they could. "I'd never… How could you think such a thing about me? I can't… I don't want to be apart from you again."

Bucky tried to resist the temptation to roll his eyes, because that man didn't know what he was talking about.

"Just listen to what I have to say first, okay?"

"But–"

"Steve, please…" Bucky begged and that was enough to make the other man shut up. In his eyes though he could see there were still things waiting to be said. But he decided to ignore Steve in order to start to tell the pieces of his past.

It was worst that he had thought. Every time a fragment of memory came out of his lips, the pain, the screaming and the lost look of his victims echoed in his head. But when he began to talk about the torture, the procedures Hydra put him through, Steve's devastated expression transformed in pure anger that he only contained because he was more worried about the man in front of him.

And when he couldn't reach any more memories, he noticed he was exhausted; he hadn't realized there were tears coming from his eyes till Steve's thumb wiped them away from his cheeks.

"Forgive me. Forgive me for not being there with you. I should've looked for you, I should've saved you."

Bucky couldn't help the smile that appeared on his face; Steve Rogers was unbelievable. That man was actually apologizing to him, an assassin, for something that wasn't in his power to stop.

"You didn't know," he reminded him. "Besides, out of the two, I think I'm the one who should be asking for forgiveness–"

But it seemed Steve wasn't going to let him finish; he leaned in and pressed their foreheads together. Bucky looked at his blue eyes and felt a wave of calm in his chest. And even if it sounded like a cliché in his head, he felt like he could drown in those eyes and he wanted to. He wanted to drown and forget everything about Hydra.

"Everything that happened… it wasn't you. You didn't have a choice."

"I know," he conceded, even when those words had a sour taste in his mouth. He could feel the guilt pressing on his chest. "But I did it."

He saw Steve's lips opening; he was going to protest, to defend him even from himself and Bucky couldn't believe that.

"How can you not hate me after all that I just told you?" He blurted out. "I know that you think it wasn't my fault, but that blood is still on my hands… Don't you feel repulsed? How can you still want to be near me?"

Instead of saying something back, Steve began to caress the other man's hands. He even smiled when he saw the shock and disbelief on Bucky's face.

"This changes nothing about us. I still… It doesn't change my feelings for you, Buck."

He shook his head; it sounded so… unreal. There were days that even he couldn't look at his own reflection in the mirror, but somehow Steve still wanted to be with him. Steve, who was looking at him at the moment with a tender smile on his face. He reached out to take the hairs that had fallen over Bucky's face and put them behind his ear. His hand rested on his cheek and when Bucky felt it, he looked up again.

For the first time since they began to talk, Steve looked nervous.

"Listen… I know you're innocent, I know it wasn't your fault," he began without breaking eye contact. "But I want you to know that if things had been different, if you had joined Hydra because you'd wanted to, I would've… my feelings for you would've been the same."

Bucky was petrified.

"Steve, you don't know what you're talking about–"

"I would've turned into a criminal, just to be with you," he ignored Bucky's protests. "I'm glad it didn't happen, but still… I would have done it for you."

He wanted to ask if it was a joke, but he changed his mind when he saw Steve's expression.

"Sometimes I don't know if I want to punch you or hug you," Bucky blurted out, after a long silence. It seemed that was the right thing to say at the moment because both of them started to laugh uncontrollably.

"I'd prefer the latter," Steve said, when he could speak again. Bucky grinned and hugged him, because after all those years of being tortured by Hydra, his body really missed the kindness and the warmth of the human touch.

"And you? What happened to you since the last time we saw each other?" Bucky asked, but he regretted immediately. He shouldn't have phrased the question like that, because by the look on Steve's face, he was sure the other man was thinking about the moment he watched Bucky fell.

He needed to say something else. Then he remembered something that he had forgotten he wanted to "discuss" with Steve.

"Fury told me you crashed your ship in the ice and refused to give your coordinates to Peggy." It worked; Steve hadn't that pained expression on his face anymore. He bit his lip and even if Bucky didn't remember many details about their past together, he knew that look.

"What were you thinking?" Bucky frowned at him. "You could've died! Why did you do that?"

"You were gone. I thought I'd lost you," he answered, like that was reason enough.

"That's not an excuse! Did you want to…?"

Bucky didn't finish because he knew the answer to that question would be a terrifying yes; Steve looked away and the other man knew he was right.

"When I woke up it was worst, and it was not because I realized that I had lost everything and everyone, that I wasn't home anymore, but because I remembered that you'd never be with me," Steve let out and Bucky could see the pain in his eyes. "It was not that bad when I had something to do, when the Avengers were needed, but when the peace returned I felt your absence more painful than ever."

"But now I'm here, Stevie." Bucky reminded him.

"You're here," he said and smiled at him with hope. "You're here and I won't let anyone take you away from me again."

* * *

Bucky hadn't realized how many hours had passed till he noticed the room was suddenly darker. He stood up and saw his suitcase in the same place he had left it when he arrived.

"Can you show me where my room is?"

He felt relieved walking beside Steve; the building was so big that he probably would've lost his way trying to find his bedroom. Well… his friend had explained to him that Friday could perfectly guide him wherever he wanted to go, but Bucky wasn't used to that kind of technology yet and to be honest the AI intimidated him a little bit.

Finally, Steve stopped in front of a door. For some reason, he looked flustered.

"This is my room… yours is the one at the end of the hallway, if you want it," he informed, and before Bucky could thank him, he turned around to face him, but he wasn't making eye contact. "It's… actually Tony decided to give us an entire floor for every one of us… they're like departments inside of the building. He thought it'd better for us to have more privacy… this whole floor is mine, but I don't mind sharing, besides there are many empty rooms that I don't really use at all… but of course if you want to be alone I understand… we could ask Friday to give you your own–"

Bucky remembered all the times he watched his friend act like a babbling mess, but it was mostly when they were on a date with beautiful girls. He always thought he was really cute like that. But Steve was clearly suffering, so he smiled at him and put a hand on his shoulder in order to ease him.

"It's okay, Stevie. I don't want a bigger place, besides, I prefer to be with you," he assured him.

Steve smiled back at him, but his smile was brighter than his. He looked at him and Bucky knew him well enough to know he wanted to say something more.

"Night, Buck." He ended up saying instead and the other man resisted the temptation to roll his eyes.

"Night."

* * *

He couldn't believe he made it to the kitchen without getting lost. He didn't need to ask Friday for instructions to find his way back. Since he woke up and even when he was taking a shower he couldn't think of nothing but food. And honestly he had planned to make breakfast just for himself, but one by one, the Avengers arrived and suddenly he was cooking eggs, bacon and French toast for everybody.

The first one he saw that morning was Natasha. She even "officially" introduced herself. Fury had given him a file about everyone so they didn't need to do that, but it was nice to feel like they were giving him a real opportunity.

Minutes later Wanda and Peter arrived. The boy was really excited, he also couldn't be still anywhere and insisted every five seconds if he could help him. But instead of helping, the boy was a distraction, he was constantly asking questions and touching his arm at every chance he had. And well… despite of being a distraction Bucky found Peter's enthusiasm really amusing.

Sam walked in a few minutes later and immediately began to complain when he hear that Nat and Bucky were talking to each other in Russian.

"Not all of us can speak twenty languages like you two; you should talk in English while we're here. Don't be rude. Otherwise the others will think you're hiding something." He said, frowning at them but Bucky could tell he wasn't mad; he looked like he was fighting back a smile.

Nat rolled her eyes dramatically.

"Please forgive him, Bucky, he's always like this, he can't help it. He might look like an adult, but he has the brain of a three-year-old," she explained.

"Speaking of grown-ups that act like children," Clint joined the conversation, sitting next to Natasha. "Where's Steve?"

For some reason, they all looked at him, waiting for an answer. Bucky shook his head.

"I don't know… I think he's still in his bedroom and he's probably asleep. He was never a morning person, not when I met him at least. Well… if he wanted, he could wake up early, but you had to fill him with lots of coffee first so he could start to function like a normal person without growling all the time." He laughed. In his mind appeared the image of a skinny Steve with messy hair and a deep frown on his face.

Sam seemed to agree with him.

"He's still like that. Man, sometimes I have to get to his floor and yell at him through his door. And even before we could go for a run, we had to buy coffee first. But it doesn't work because he always complains about the taste," he explained. "How can you not like the thousands of flavor combinations that Starbucks has?"

"Well, maybe he misses the taste of the coffee we used to prepare back in the day. We used to make it at home; we didn't have this kind of coffee makers in our houses so the process was different." Bucky commented and only then Sam noticed the aroma in the air.

He arched his eyebrows at him.

"You're making coffee?" He asked.

"Not only coffee," Bucky answered, smiling.

Wanda helped him to set the table; the plates, glasses and cups were flying above their heads and filling themselves with food, before being placed before the ones that were already sit.

Tony entered the room in that moment; he was muttering something about Pepper abandoning him to go on a business trip, she didn't have the plant to return till the next week. But the billionaire stopped complaining the moment he smelled the air, his nostrils flared and he closed his eyes just a moment.

"Boy something smells delicious in here and I'm not talking about you, soldier," He winked at Bucky when he approached to the table. "I mean you do smell beautifully but–"

" _Tony._ "

None of them had noticed Steve presence until that name came out of his mouth in the form of a growl.

"Always being so merry and cheerful in the morning, Cap." Tony smiled, ignoring the growing frown on Steve's face. "Actually your morning you it's my favorite you."

Bucky decided it was time to do something before Steve could open his lips again. He filled a mug with coffee and handed it to him.

Steve was distracted by him immediately; his eyes looked at the mug and then he proceeded to smell the content in it. He tasted it and a big grin appeared on his face.

"Do you remember when you used to make coffee for me at home? You used to stay the night when I got sick and mom couldn't take care of me 'cause she had to work late. Do you remember that?" Steve asked with hope.

Bucky nodded.

"Of course I do, Stevie. Sometimes you got mad at me 'cause I refused to leave when you asked me to." He added.

"I didn't want you to get sick too! I was afraid you would get tired of me because I was always sick."

"You idiot, I could never get tired of you," Bucky said. "Not back then and not now. You were my best friend, you still are."

The grin returned to Steve's face. He didn't say more, but his eyes were fixed on his friend.

"Stop smiling like that, Cap or you're gonna blind us all," Clint complained and Tony high fived him. Bucky agreed even he didn't say so; Steve's smiles were really bright sometimes.

Steve blushed and tried to hide his face behind the mug.

Finally, Bucky could find a seat, he was starving and the whole cooking thing just made him more and more hungry. Tony followed him close and sat beside him, on his left. Steve approached him too, but Peter was faster than him and took the other free seat next to Bucky. Everyone seemed very amused by the whole situation, especially Natasha, who has trying to hide her smile behind her orange juice.

"May I?" Tony asked then, distracting him. He was pointing at his metal arm. So that was the reason he sat next to him.

"Sure," he agreed putting his arm on the table. Tony's eyes shone with excitement and he didn't just look, he also began to touch. Meanwhile, Peter was attacking him with hundreds of questions.

"Do you have other parts of metal?"

"No, it's just the arm."

"Were you in the same regiment as Captain America?"

"No, my unit was the 107th."

"Your hair was as long as it is now?"

"It was shorter back then."

"Are you gonna cut it again?"

"No, at least not in a while… Why? You think I should?"

"No!" Peter's answer was really quick and desperate, like he was looking a Bucky with scissors in his hands.

Bucky smiled at him and Peter's face flushed.

"What I wanted to say is that you look really good like this… no, I mean you look more attractive… no! I mean yes! Forget it! No, wait, I didn't mean to… well you could look attractive with short hair too–"

"Peter, please. Bucky must be hungry, let him eat. Come here." Wanda interrupted him and for a second, the boy seemed relieved that he didn't have to talk more.

"But…"

Wanda arched an eyebrow at him; her arms were crossed over her chest. Peter didn't have a choice but to comply. Bucky liked their interactions, even if they were not related they acted just like siblings.

Steve took Peter's place almost immediately.

"Smooth, really smooth, Rogers." Sam joked. Steve gave him an 'I hate you' look.

But Bucky didn't notice that, because in that moment Tony decided to touch his palm and the sensation made him shiver in his seat. His reaction was noticed by everybody.

"Can you feel something?" Stark asked.

Bucky nodded.

"It's not the same sensation I get when I touch something with the right, but yes I can feel too."

"Fascinating," Tony blurted out. "And what about this?" He started to trace circles on his wrist and Bucky's body shivered again. Next to him, Steve tensed.

"Okay, that's enough, Tony." Steve growled.

"My interest is merely professional, Cap. Don't be like that." He replied.

Steve didn't respond to that. He just ground his teeth. Tony rolled his eyes but he stopped touching Bucky. He put his hands up in the air.

"You're no fun, Cap." He complained.

Steve leaned in towards Bucky.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah," he assured him with a smile on his face. "He wasn't bothering me. I really don't mind."

"See? He's more reasonable than you!" Tony added and a few of them laughed with him.

Steve ignored him and took Bucky's right hand. He seemed more relaxed after doing it so Bucky let him. In front of them, Natasha noticed and hit Sam's side with her elbow before whispering something in his ear. Bucky realized it wasn't going to be easy to get used to that kind of life, but the truth was that he actually started to enjoy it. It was like to have a family again.


	3. Chapter 3 When the gods speak

**Chapter 3**

 **When the gods speak**

After a few weeks, Bucky had adapted to work with his new team. Somehow (not that he wasn't grateful for that because he truly was) the Avengers had adopted him into their odd, but lovely family. He was not only grateful, but happy; he felt like he was part of something again and he had no intentions on wasting the second chance the universe had given to him.

He actually adapted quite well to some of his teammates routines. He enjoyed running in the morning with Sam and Steve; sometimes they both teased Sam and sprinted just to leave him behind and hear him yelling at them. He also liked staying inside the building and making breakfast for Wanda and Peter (who were constantly pestering him about it). In the afternoons he preferred to spend his time in the training room, it was good to stay in good shape; the others learned quickly to adjust their routines to include him in their own training, they needed to know how to work as a team.

But of course… he still had bad days. The nightmares hadn't banished, they weren't as constant as when SHIELD found him, but they were still there. There were nights when his dreams were so… haunting that he woke up in the middle of the night and couldn't close his eyes after. And he knew everyone noticed; it was kind of obvious the mornings he came out his room with dark circles under his eyes and a tired expression. They wanted to help and some of them tried, but Bucky was too stubborn to let anyone help that he just denied everything and refused to talk about it. Steve of course tried in several occasions to talk, but even he couldn't make Bucky admit it.

Bucky knew Steve's intentions were good, but he couldn't let him help, because Bucky knew he just needed touch, he needed to sleep next to someone to keep the nightmares away, but couldn't ask any of the Avengers (they barely knew him) and Steve… well… things between them were different and Bucky didn't know why. He just wasn't ready to do that yet. He couldn't.

He just had to deal with it alone. Fortunately, training was one of the activities that helped him to cope with it. Working on his own skills not only helped him to improve but to feel more relaxed. And he was starting to adapt his abilities to others'. He learned how to train with every one of them. But with Steve, was kind of weird.

The first time they decided to train together, the fight last just a few minutes; Bucky ended up over Steve; Rogers waist was trapped between his friend's legs and Bucky managed to took both Steve's hands in his and kept them over his head to immobilize him. But Steve was really good at hand to hand combat; Bucky had seen him fighting so he knew he couldn't have defeated him so quickly unless…

Bucky arched an eyebrow to him and leaned in. Steve blushed bright red and only then Bucky realized…

"Did you just let me win?" He growled as a warning. Steve's eyes were looking anywhere but him.

"Maybe," he answered, biting his lip.

"Of course he did," Sam cut in when he approached, he looked really amused and it seemed he wasn't the only one enjoying the whole situation.

Steve glared at him.

"Sam!"

"You know I always got your back, Cap." He replied with a big smile on his face. He walked away to talk with Wanda and Vision.

"I'm not gonna break, you know… right?" Bucky said. He stood up and reached out his hand to help Steve.

Steve nodded and Bucky just couldn't believe that man looked exactly like a lost puppy in that moment; it was very difficult to stay mad at someone like that.

"I know. I'm sorry."

"Okay, just… don't do that again, please. It's only training, you won't hurt me, Stevie," he assured him and it didn't surprise him when he felt Steve's arms around him.

They were friends after all; physical contact was something really common between them… It was almost a necessity; they had to touch each other in order to feel safe, secure or just to relax. Even 70 years ago, they were always close to each other; a hand over the shoulder, a tight hug or just their hand making contact. But back then men were not allowed to show too much affection for another male, so most of the time they had to wait till they got home to hug each other again.

The 21st century was completely different and Bucky was truly glad for that. Same sex relationships were common; men and women were allowed to be happy with whoever they chose to be. But not only romantic love could be shown but platonic as well; two men could be physically close with each other even if they were only friends. It was nice and refreshing to live in a society that was more open to love, where people didn't have to hide anymore.

Steve knew that, he had more time to adjust to the new world than him; he was the one that initiated the physical contact between them even when they were in public. He didn't even hesitate; the years he spend apart from Bucky seemed to turn him into a touch-starved puppy. But Bucky really thought he was like that with everyone else, not just him, until Nat had to spell it out for him to understand.

He decided not to think too much about that and he just enjoyed the contact; he had spent years under the influence of HYDRA and he missed kind and loving touches so much he wasn't gonna hesitate to take them.

He was learning to feel safe again; the Avengers were always kind with him. He enjoyed the way they were with one another, especially during movie nights; Clint and Rhodey's arguments and fights over some random topic, Tony's comments during the movie and the way Pepper used to shut him up and Nat's way to steal everybody's snacks. Bucky loved those nights, because he was starting to feel safe and warm among them.

* * *

Steve kept his promise so the next time they fought Bucky felt the difference. Steve was fast and he blocked most of his attacks. Bucky's metal arm gave him an advantage but his friend could keep up with anything he tried to do. Besides, it seemed that Natasha had taught him one thing or two, because Steve was showing great skills at this. Bucky didn't pretend to be surprised when he fell to the ground with his friend all over him.

"I regret what I said before," he said when he could breathe again. He was tired and sweaty, his muscles hurt but it was a good sensation. "I liked it more when you let me win."

Steve laughed and Bucky could feel his chest shaking over his. After a few seconds, Steve whispered something about being tired and fell completely over his friend. He even buried his face in Bucky's neck.

"I'm really sorry to say this, but you're really heavy, pal." Bucky knew he was blushing and was glad his friend couldn't see him. He tried to sound serious, but it was difficult when all he wanted to do was to laugh.

"You lost, now you have to bear the consequences."

Bucky rolled his eyes; he knew Steve was smiling even if he couldn't see him.

"I'm not bearing the consequences I'm bearing all of your weight," he huffed. "And let me tell you, you're not that little tiny kid of Brooklyn anymore–"

"Sorry, Buck, but this is my reward for winning and your punishment for losing," Steve explained. He managed to put his arms around Bucky's waist.

He was going to protest, but Steve must had guessed because he just giggled and leaned in a few inches more till his nose touched the sensitive skin of Bucky's neck.

Bucky couldn't help it; he shivered at the contact and Steve noticed.

"You okay?" He asked, worried. At least he turned his head up to look at him.

"Yes… yeah," Bucky let out, trying not to blush again.

Steve looked at him a few seconds before nodding. He buried his face in his neck once more and Bucky fight the impulse to roll his eyes again because the whole thing was really unbelievable.

"Steve…"

"Just five minutes more."

"Punk," he said, laughing.

"Jerk."

"You two are absolutely adorable," Natasha commented then.

"What are you doing?" Bucky asked with horror in his voice. She was holding a phone in her hands.

"I need evidence."

Only in that moment Steve decided it was enough, because he stood up and before he could offer his hand to Bucky, his friend was already up too. Bucky noticed that Steve's face was completely red, but he thought it was because of the fight they had had.

"Now I see why Steve enjoys so much training with you, Barnes." Natasha said. She was smirking and winked in her captain's direction.

Steve looked down, avoiding any kind of eye contact. Bucky was looking at Nat completely confused and before he could look at his friend again Steve was already whispering and apology and walking away from them.

"I don't get it. What in hell happened?" he asked her.

Nat tried to look innocent, but it didn't really work.

"I suggest you to start paying more attention to your surroundings, soldier." She replied.

Bucky frowned in frustration; that kind of answer didn't help him at all.

* * *

It was a month later when Bucky finally met Thor. He had heard other people talk about him and he had seen him on television, but he hadn't seen him in the building at all. He had been in Asgard but returned a few days ago and was planning on staying on Earth for a long time. Thor liked to be among his friends.

When Bucky saw him enter the living room for the first time he was completely amazed; Thor was big; he was so tall he made the others look like tiny things. He would've looked threatening if he hadn't had that enormous grin all over his face.

Vision, Wanda and Clint were sitting on the couch next to him, trying to agree on which program they should see at the moment. Bucky tried not to roll his eyes when he heard Wanda and Clint argue. He decided to ignore them; he approached the asgardian instead to introduce himself.

Before he could talk though, Thor's grin grew before he spoke first: "Tony and Natasha told me about you. They say you're an Avenger now."

Bucky returned the smiled.

"They mentioned a few things about you too," he replied.

Thor arched an eyebrow at him.

"I hope they told you only good things."

"Most of the time," he joked and offered his hand. "My name's James, but my friends call me Bucky. It's a pleasure to finally meet you."

But instead of shaking his hand, Thor took him in his arms and lifted him like he weighed nothing.

"Welcome to the team!"

"Uhhh… thanks." It was the only thing Bucky could say at the moment; he had been taken by surprise.

"Oh boy," he heard Clint say behind them. "I hope our Captain doesn't find out–"

"Too late," Wanda interrupted and Bucky knew Steve had arrived.

"What are you doing, Thor?"

"Hi, Steve," the asgardian greeted; he had to turn around in order to see Steve in the face. He hadn't let go of Bucky, it was like he had forgotten he had a man in his arms.

Bucky started to feel uncomfortable; he wanted to be able to touch the ground again. And Steve, well… he didn't look very happy either.

Thor must have noticed, because he put Bucky on the ground again.

Steve got close to his friend immediately; he approached him so much Thor had to take a step back. Bucky wonder if Steve did that on purpose or he just acted on impulse.

"Natasha told me you were companions during war," Thor said then. Luckily the uncomfortable moment had disappeared.

"Yes," Steve said and it seemed like he was relaxed again.

The asgardian nodded and his eyes met Bucky's before he was looking at him from head to toe.

"You look like a strong warrior," he commented and put his hand over Bucky's shoulders. Barnes couldn't help smiling in return, because Thor didn't seem to know the meaning of personal space. "Your body looks amazing and by the way you move you seem agile and flexible."

Bucky had to bite his lip in order not to giggle; Thor had such a weird way to compliment people. He knew he was not the only one who was thinking the same because he noticed Clint and Wanda trying not to laugh. Meanwhile Vision's eyes were curiously fixed on Steve.

It was only at that moment that he noticed Steve clenched his jaw.

Thor was happily oblivious to all of it, because he took at step closer to Bucky.

"I can't wait to find out what other qualities your body has."

Bucky blinked in surprise, he felt heat on his face even though he knew that wasn't Thor's intention, the asgardian hadn't realized his words could have many different interpretations.

Clint and Wanda couldn't hold it back anymore; Bucky heard the exact moment they both burst into laughter. Wand ended up lying on the couch with her hands on her belly like she was trying to stop herself.

Thor looked at Steve and when he noticed the captain was frowning at him, he took a few steps a back from Bucky. He looked really confused.

"I'm afraid there's been a misunderstanding." Vision cut in. He approached them serious and calm; he looked directly at Thor. "The words that you used could be seen as a sexual innuendo. And since Captain Rogers is constantly aware of anything that happens or has to do with Sergeant Barnes, he took offense at it. The human brain tends to react in certain ways when the emotions of the individual are–"

"Thanks, Vision." Steve interrupted him. "I think we got it now."

Vision nodded, completely unaware of Steve's flustered expression.

Thor looked at them, hands raised in surrender.

"I'm truly sorry, Barnes."

"Please call me Bucky."

The asgardian seemed uncomfortable.

"What I meant was to see your qualities in battle," he tried to explain. "I had no idea that you… Well now I get why my words could be considered inappropriate. So you two are… I know some people react like that when they are in a relationship. Where I come from is common for people to be a little bit possessive."

Bucky blinked at him; Thor wasn't making any sense at all. Relationships? What was he talking about?

The asgardian looked at Steve like he was trying to apologize with him.

"I'm sorry; I didn't know… nobody told me. It won't happen again," He promised and he looked serious. "He's your man, isn't he?"

"Yes," Steve's answer came out so quickly he surprised even himself.

Thor nodded, like that was the response he expected to hear. Bucky arched his eyebrows at his friend, waiting for an explanation. Maybe in Asgard was different?

Steve seemed flustered and when his eyes met Bucky's he blushed bright red. He turned his head quickly.

"I mean… Bucky is my friend," he cleared his throat. "I worry about him. But you didn't do anything wrong. I know you didn't mean that. It's just… sometimes I… I really don't… I overreacted, I'm sorry."

Thor looked as confused as Bucky was, but he nodded anyway.

Behind them, Bucky heard a sound and turned around to look at Clint, who covered his mouth with his hand, he whispered something. Wanda wasn't laughing anymore, but she still had that amused sparkle in her eyes.

* * *

The next day Bucky noticed the amused smiles and silent looks everyone was directing at him; of course everyone knew about what had happened. But they didn't have the time to discuss it or to ask him about it; Fury called and Nat, Clint and Steve had to leave for a few hours to talk to him.

Tony took the opportunity to convince Bucky to let him test his metal arm. Sam decided to follow them to keep Bucky company.

"This is our only chance; Cap would never let me put my hands on you."

Sam rolled his eyes. "You know it sounds weird when you say it like that."

Tony winked at Bucky and he smiled in response because it was pretty much obvious that he was doing it on purpose.

"I heard about what happened yesterday," he said while helping Bucky sitting on a chair. He used his phone to scan the arm and asked Friday to analyze it. "So… Thor was flirting with you and Cap got mad and tried to punch him in the face."

Bucky huffed at the same time Sam snorted.

"You know that's not true."

"Yeah, but my story is more fun." Tony grinned. "Still… I wish I was there."

"I'm glad you weren't," Sam added. "You would've made it worst."

"And you call yourselves my friends." The billionaire said, with a 'pained' expression on his face.

Bucky smiled at him, because he really considered that man his friend and a part of him wondered if Tony started that conversation just to make him feel more relaxed. In that moment he was happy to have people that could call friends.


	4. Chapter 4 The first mission

**Chapter 4**

 **The first mission**

"You did WHAT?" That growl couldn't be anyone's but Steve's. Bucky was sure of it and by the intensity of it, he was sure the captain was frowning at whoever he was looking at.

"Oh boy… I knew that was going to get me in trouble. Cap, you have to chill. I just want to help our soldier." Yeah, that definitely was Tony's voice. Bucky was walking down the hallway when he heard them. He decided it was better to hurry up. Steve didn't sound very happy.

"Our?" And that was another growl.

"C'mon, Cap! Bucky lives with all of us. You have to share now," Tony said barely containing his laughter.

"I don't think–"

"Steve, what happened the other day was because Bucky wanted it. None of us forced him to do it. Besides, Tony was just checking his arm," Sam cut in.

Bucky arrived just in time to watch Steve with lips open, ready to protest once more; Tony was in front of him with his arms crossed over his chest and Sam just looked like he had a headache.

"Steve," was the magic word that came out of his lips and made everyone look back at him. Steve turned to see him and his expression softened a lot when his eyes met his. Tony smiled like it was Christmas.

"Bucky babe! I'm so glad to see you here. Maybe you could protect me from Capsicle here 'cause he's in a mood… maybe he just needs his coffee?"

Steve glared at the billionaire, but before one of them added something more, Bucky touched his friend's shoulder.

"Sam's right. I let Tony check my arm because I wanted it," he explained. "Don't be mad at him."

The captain got close to him so much that Bucky could see how worried he was just by looking at him in the eye.

"I'm just–"

"I know," Bucky didn't let him finish. "I know you only want to keep me safe and I really appreciate it, but I have to make my own decisions now."

Steve nodded, but he had that expression in his eyes again. Seriously why did that man always look like a sad puppy?

"I think I'll accept Stark's offer and let him design me a new arm," he blurted out; he had forgotten the man himself was still in the room with them until he heard him gasping in excitement.

"You'll be so pleased with the results, I promise! You're gonna love the new arm, Bucky babe," Tony assured, behind them. Almost immediately Bucky felt himself being trapped between Steve's arms. Sam muttered something he could hear and let out a tired huff.

"Are you sure?" Steve asked in his ear. He put his arms around Bucky's waist and didn't move them again. Bucky felt his face burning, but he tried to ignore the sensation in order to concentrate.

"Yes, I would like… I want to have a left arm that I can look at without remembering all those… deaths," he admitted and noticed the moment Steve's face turned sad again.

"You didn't–"

"It wasn't my fault, I know," he conceded. "But I want to do this. I think it will help me to feel better."

He knew the moment he said it Steve couldn't say no to that, he just wanted the best for him; Bucky watched him nod and felt when Steve hugged him tighter; his body pressed closer to his. The captain let out a sigh before burying his face in his best friend's neck. That kind of actions startled Bucky, but he enjoyed them, they made his heart beat faster. He even could feel the heat returning to his cheeks.

"Can I be there the next time you have to Tony?" asked Steve, he didn't look up at him. He didn't seem like he wanted to move at all. His lips touched Bucky's skin when he talked.

"I'm still here!" Stark said, although he didn't sound offended at all.

"Of course, Stevie. I'll be better if you keep me company," he accepted.

"Okay, but he must behave," Tony added.

Steve growled at that and Bucky rolled his eyes; he started to stroke Steve's blond hair.

"Don't worry, he will be nice," Bucky assured.

Tony winked at him and luckily Steve couldn't see that because his face was still buried in Bucky's neck.

* * *

The trainings became more difficult since he had to practice with every single one of the Avengers. But Bucky enjoyed it anyway; he knew the best way to know the rest of the team was by adapting to their different kind of fight stiles.

One of those days he ended up training with Wanda. He taught her a few hand to hand combat movements, even though she didn't need that to protect herself.

After that they decided to practice almost every day together. It was exhausting, but fun. Bucky had to learn how to get used to Wanda's abilities so he allowed her to lift him in the air. It was amazing to watch the rest of the team while he was floating over them.

But of course everything changed when Steve stepped in the room and noticed where he was.

"Bucky?" His eyes filled with worry looked directly at him. "Wanda, please… just let him in the ground again."

"I'm being careful," she promised, but did as her captain said and started to lower him down.

"Don't worry about me, Wanda knows what she's doing," he assured.

But the girl changed her mind because Bucky began to float towards Steve. Wanda had an amused grin all over her face. She looked at her captain and winked at him.

"I'll drop him in a safe spot," she giggled. "You have to catch him, Steve."

"What?" Bucky couldn't believe what was happening, he was about to tell Wanda something when he realized his friend spread out his arms. He even beamed at him, the bastard. "Steve you traitor! This is honestly ridiculous, I need to… Tell her to let me go!"

"You said she knew what she was doing, you have to trust her now," Steve replied, looking bemused.

Bucky frowned at them and tried to escape, but it was hopeless. Wanda dropped him when he was a few inches over Steve's head, his friend managed to catch him in his arms. Steve grinned from ear to ear and moved him closer to his body. It never ceased to amaze him how strong Steve was that he even could carry him in his arms as he weighed nothing.

"Put me down."

"Wanda thinks you're safer in my arms and I agree with her," Steve smirked.

"Are you kidding–"

"You hungry?" The captain asked, ignored his soldier's protests.

"Yes, but–"

"It's my turn to cook something for you. Let's go to the kitchen."

"I can walk, Steve."

"No, you can't."

They kept arguing, but Steve never let go of Bucky. Neither of them noticed the way Clint rolled his eyes at Natasha or Wanda's triumphant smile.

"And this is just the beginning. It's gonna get worse, I know that." Clint growled, shaking his head.

* * *

Fury called them later that week; the New York Times building had been taken by Hydra and while some SHIELD agents had managed to enter the place, but no one knew anything about them since then; Fury had no idea what Hydra wanted to get in there, but he was sure there were more than twenty hostages and the Hydra agents had explosives with them.

It was Bucky's first mission with the Avengers and a part of him felt it like a test; he'd be face to face with the people that turned him in the broken man he was. He didn't know how he was going to react to that; he had no idea if the Winter Soldier in him could take over his body completely again. SHIELD had told him he was "cured", but he didn't really trust his own mind.

He shook his head to concentrate in what Steve was saying; they were outside the building and he was giving them instructions.

"I don't like this," Natasha commented in russian, her voice became a whisper that only Bucky could hear.

He looked at her, she was thinking the same; it was really stupid for Hydra to attack such an important and known building in the middle of the day. Hydra made mistakes, but none so obvious like that. It was intentional.

"They knew we'd come," she added, while Steve was talking to Wanda and Peter.

"They didn't know, they wanted us to be here," Bucky said. They keep talking in russian until Steve looked back at them and noticed; he frowned.

"I think Barnes and I should get in first," Nat told him, speaking english again. "He knows Hydra better than anyone here and can tell us what their real intentions are."

Steve glared at her; that was out of the question. He approached to Bucky without realizing what he was doing.

"Nat's right, Steve."

"You're not going in there, Buck. I don't want you to get… I don't want you both to–"

"I can do it. Besides, sooner or later one of us must get in there; we can't let all those innocent people inside. They need us," he insisted. "And you know I have a better chance to anticipate their plans than any of you; I was trained by them, I know how they think."

Bucky could see the frustration shinning in Steve's eyes, but he also noticed the fear and worry that was consuming him; there were other emotions, but those appeared and vanished so quickly that he couldn't recognize them. Steve sighed in surrender.

"Okay, but I'm coming with you," he said and when he saw Bucky shaking his head he took his hand in his. "You can't stop me from following you."

"And you can't let your emotions cloud your judgment, not during a mission," Clint cut in, looking at his captain. "Tasha is our best option to go with Barnes."

Steve didn't seem convinced, he was about to protest again when Bucky caressed his hand.

"Trust me."

"I'll take care of him," Natasha assured.

"I can take care of myself" he frowned.

"Thanks, Nat." Steve said. Bucky just rolled his eyes.

His friend looked back at him; he tried to smile, but failed.

"I'll be fine, Stevie," Bucky promised and followed Black Widow inside.

It was so easy to enter that their doubts just grew. And when they found the two agents waiting for them in the second floor, they knew something was wrong.

Bucky saw Natasha running and jumping over the first man before he could turn and face the other; he wasn't as agile as her, but he could use his strength to fight the other. But, before he could approach him, the man smiled at him like they knew each other.

"The rumors were true, you're with them now," he said and his grin grew when he saw Bucky's shocked expression. "Hydra misses you, soldat."

That single word brought terrible memories to his head; a shiver passed through his body. Bucky had to blink a few times in other to shake those images off him. He needed to concentrate.

"Well it's a shame, since I'm not planning in coming back," he growled.

"We wondered what SHIELD had done to you, where they had taken you… but I guess they just decided to program you again to help them… You're still the same weapon, you just have a different owner now."

He started to lose control; the way the man was talking to him made him remember things he didn't want to experience again. He got closer to him, feeling hurt and furious, but before he could punch him, the man touched something inside his jacket; his entire body began to shiver before he fell to the ground. Bucky knelt beside him and touched his neck, there was no pulse.

Natasha approached him fast. She looked as confused as he was.

"What happened?"

"I don't know, he just… fell," he informed her. He was trying to analyze the weird conversation they had had in his head.

"What did he tell you?"

But before he could answer they both hear it: an explosion that was followed by screams. The walls shook and the windows and crystals broke into pieces; they both fell to the ground to cover themselves. It was just a fraction of the explosion; the bomb had exploded in the other side of the building.

"Bucky? Bucky, please…" he could hear Steve's trembling voice then. He was sure the rest of the Avengers saw the explosion.

"I'm fine," Bucky managed to say. "We're fine."

"Rogers, we need you all to come inside. We have to get the people out of here as soon as possible," Natasha said.

"We're in," Steve answered.

Black Widow rolled her eyes and looked at Bucky like he was the one to blame for their captain's behavior.

"Stay where you are," was Steve's next order.

"Negative. We have to help the civilians; we're closer to them." Bucky replied.

He Steve wanted to argue but all what he heard was a frustrated growl.

"Alright." Steve conceded even though he knew Nat and Bucky weren't waiting for his response. They were already on his way to the next floor.

There were twenty five people sat on the ground, none of them was seriously injured, but most of them were in shock. It was difficult for Nat and Bucky to get them to stand up. It was her who informed Steve about the situation; they both could hear him giving Peter instructions.

Rhodey and Tony found them, and between the two managed to get out all the people. Rhodey returned after taking the last two and offered his hand to Natasha. Tony got close to Bucky.

"It's time to go, Bucky babe" Tony told him and he could swear the billionaire was smiling behind his metal suit.

"What about the others?"

"Cap and the rest of the team are outside," Stark was informing him, but interrupted himself when he felt the building trembling again. "I don't think it's safe for us to be here, we should… oh boy."

"What is it?"

"Friday detected… She says there's someone more in the next floor," Tony said. "Hey, wait!"

But Bucky was heading upstairs, Iron Man tried to follow him, but after another shake, a piece of the structure fell and blocked his way up.

When Bucky entered the next floor, he searched in every office until he saw a girl with dark curly hair hiding under a desk. He approached slowly; she looked at him, scared. Bucky thought for a second that she'd try to escape from him, but she didn't, although she didn't look like she wanted to move from her spot either.

"I'm not gonna hurt you," he tried to ease her, even though he knew his metal arm didn't make him look very harmless. "Listen, we need to get out of here."

But the girl didn't move a muscle. He knew he needed to make her relax first, but he didn't know how.

"I'm James Barnes, but you can call me Bucky," he tried and luckily that actually did seem to get a reaction from her; her eyes shone with interest and she looked at him with a surprised expression on her face.

"Are you James Buchanan Barnes?" She asked and Bucky couldn't help but look back with curiosity.

He nodded.

"I know everything about you and Captain America," she said, looking shy suddenly. "You see I love History and I'm… well, my brother says I'm a nerd, I guess I am. My name's Miranda, by the way."

"Miranda, I promise we can talk about everything you want later, but now we must leave," he said and when the girl nodded he took her in his arms, but he couldn't walk further because the building shook again. The girl put her arms around Bucky's neck and leaned closer, she was terrified.

There was no time and all the exits were blocked, his only option was the window.

"Close your eyes," he told her and when Miranda did it, he added: "Guys, I'm still inside, I'm on the fifth floor on the front side of the building, I'm gonna jump and I hope one of you can catch me." He didn't wait for an answer.

He felt the air in his face and held the girl tight to protect her, but he didn't felt the ground, instead they both felt on some sort of elastic material? Then Bucky looked around and realized they were on a web… and then he noticed Peter, wearing his Spiderman suit, staring at them from above.

"Thank you," Bucky said.

"It was my pleasure," the boy answered.

Miranda's fear disappeared and was quickly replaced by excitement when she saw him.

"Spiderman!"

Bucky and him helped the girl get down and take her to the paramedics even though she insisted she was fine. Peter had to leave them to join Clint and Wanda, while Tony and Rhodey were talking to Steve who looked really scared and anxious.

Bucky wanted to talk to him, but was distracted by Miranda's excitement and infinite questions. That was why he didn't notice when Steve saw him and approached him until Steve was in front of him. He didn't seem to care about the curiosity in the other people's eyes; they were surprised to see Captain America looking at the man with the metal arm like he was the most precious thing in the world.

"Bucky, are you okay? Are you hurt?" he asked, taking Bucky's face in his hands. His blue eyes looked at him like they were searching for injures.

"I'm fine," Bucky assured and Steve's expression changed suddenly; he seemed upset.

"Why did you jump?" he asked, between anger and worry. "Do you have any idea what I felt when I heard you say what you were going to do? I couldn't help you–"

"I didn't have a choice, Steve" he protested. "Besides you can't be mad at that, you had jumped from a plane without a parachute before."

"It's not the same."

Bucky arched an eyebrow to him and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Why not?"

Steve huffed and rolled his eyes at him.

"Because it's you," he said like it was obvious whatever he was trying to say. "Because I did that when I thought you were…"

Bucky regretted in that moment to argue with him, because Steve's anger disappeared; he looked sad and desperate.

"Please you have to understand… I just got you back, I don't want to lose you again," he confessed and took Bucky in his arms, hugging him like he didn't want to let go.

"You won't," Bucky assured, stoking his back.

A sigh that came out Miranda's mouth made Bucky go back to reality, he realized they were not, in fact, alone.

"Steve… Steve, we have company," Bucky reminded him and was glad to see Steve looking back at her with a kind smile on his face. He even stopped hugging him, but stayed close to him.

Miranda was fascinated. Without wasting any time she started to ask Steve dozens of questions that the captain was happy to answer. She discovered many of the fact she had read on the History books were entirely wrong.

"I bet it was difficult for you both to live… to be together back then," she said. "I mean… it was forbidden then…"

Bucky looked at her trying to decipher what she was saying, her words had confused him.

"Well… it was difficult for many of us to live… I mean with everything that was happening. It was hard for us; Steve was sick and neither of us had enough money." He said.

"Bucky always took care of me," Steve commented then. "After my mother died we decided to live together… Bucky got a job to help pay my meds and stayed with me on his free time."

Without realizing what he was doing, Steve step closer to him and put his left hand around Bucky's waist. Bucky didn't say anything; it felt natural and he knew that Steve reacted like that when he was worried, he needed the contact to assure himself Bucky was completely fine.

He was distracted when he saw a guy approaching Miranda.

"Mir! Thank God! I was so scared," he said. "I'm glad you're alright, sis."

Miranda hugged him, but returned her attention quickly to the two super soldiers standing in front of them.

"Alex, this is Captain Rogers and Sergeant Barnes!" She introduced them.

The guy looked at them in shock.

"But you told me James had fallen," he blurted out.

Steve held Bucky close and buried his head on his friend's neck.

"He came back to me," he said, his voice muffled by Bucky's skin.

"See? I was right about everything!" Miranda told his brother, who was looking intently at the way Captain America was holding James Barnes and specially at Steve's arms firmly placed on Bucky's waist.

Alex introduced himself, but decided not to offer his hand since the captain didn't seem eager to move from where he was. But the guy thanked Bucky for saving his little sister.

"Well, I think it's time for us to go, Mir" Alex said, looking at the way Steve was holding Bucky.

But Bucky noticed and tried to push Steve away, but the captain just growled in response.

"Don't mind him, please. He acts like a child sometimes," he told them. "You don't have to leave."

Alex smiled at him.

"You saved my sister today, you have done enough, I think both of you deserve some time alone." He insisted. "It was a pleasure to meet you."

Miranda said good bye to them with enthusiasm and Bucky was relieved that Steve had the decency to look up at them.

Only when they walked away Bucky could relax into Steve's arms.

"I'll never let you go," Steve whispered and grinned at him.

Bucky giggled.

"You don't have to do that cuz I'm not going anywhere. Actually I think you'll get tired of me."

"Never."

"You're so stubborn you know that, punk?"

"I know, jerk."


	5. Chapter 5 Remember, soldat Part 1

**Chapter 5**

 **Remember, soldat Part 1**

Bucky woke up late that morning, it didn't surprise him; a nightmare made him open his eyes in the middle of the night, he tried to go back to sleep, but the memories that came with the unpleasant dream didn't let him sleep till 4 am in the morning. He couldn't wake up in time to go out with Steve that day. He was very tired. He suspected his friend had gone without him (he'd never wake him up), but wasn't sure till he saw Sam sitting on the couch watching TV.

"Where's Steve?" He asked, just to be sure.

"He went for a run, half an hour ago."

"Why didn't you go?"

"I wasn't in the mood, guess I'm tired," Sam told him.

"I think I can catch up," Bucky said, grinning, because he knew what would be Sam's reaction.

"You sure?" He asked, but immediately shook his head and rolled his eyes. "What am I talking about? Of course you can! I forgot you are just like him, super serum and everything… It's not fair to mortals like me, you know?"

Bucky's smile just grew wide.

"You're just jealous, birdman," he giggled and run away, but could hear Sam's laughter from the hallway.

* * *

Clint and Nat sat close to him; Bucky had gone to find Steve about an hour ago, and they knew there was no one to make breakfast for them. So they decided to make a bet; Clint said Bucky wouldn't find Steve on time, while Nat and Sam, who knew their captain more than anyone else, were perfectly sure that those two would return together. If the archer won, they would have to make the breakfast, but they both were pretty confident about it.

Maybe that was why the universe decided to punish them both, well that or Clint's unexpected luck; the soldier, Bucky Barnes, entered the room minutes later.

"What are you doing here?" Sam was the first to ask, even though the other two had the same question in their heads. "Where's Steve?"

"I had to come back," Bucky said, before they noticed he was not alone; T'Challa arrived seconds later, with a painful expression on his face; his nose was bleeding.

For a second, they all forgot about the bet and approached them.

"What happened?" Natasha asked. "You were attacked?"

Bucky bit his lip and shook his head; he was looking at T'Challa. He guided him to the couch and helped him sit.

"It was my fault," he finally said, making Clint stare at him with curiosity.

The king didn't seem pleased with the response, he tried to protest.

"I punched him," Bucky admitted, blushing hard while saying it.

"You… attacked him?" Sam asked.

"No," the king cut in, finally. "Actually, it was my fault. I got close to him and touched his shoulder and I think I scared him… He turned around so fast that his hand hit my face, but it was an accident."

Nat nodded, listening carefully. Sam, on the other hand, had so many questions in his head.

"I'm so sorry," the soldier said and judging by T'Challa's expression, it wasn't the first time Bucky apologized.

"You don't need to apologize, James," the king said and managed to smile at him.

"I'm impressed, Bucky," Clint commented, looking really amused. "Not only you managed to punch Black Panther, but to the King of Wakanda himself without ending in the hospital or being executed."

"What?" Bucky's face went pale. "You are a king?"

T'Challa glared at the archer before looking back at Bucky again.

"I am, but that doesn't mean I won't take responsibility for what I did or that you should feel ashamed. I told you, it was my fault." He began. "And please do call me T'Challa; I don't want my friends to address me like that."

Sam arched his eyebrows in surprised; apparently the only thing you have to do to make friends with royalty was to punch them in the face.

"I'm fine, James, don't worry," he insisted when he looked at Bucky's face.

"Call me Bucky. If we're friends now, you must call me Bucky."

"Alright, Bucky" T'Challa grinned.

"I'll go get something for your nose," the soldier said, before getting out the room.

"I've seen you fight," Nat commented then. "And it's not possible that someone like you hadn't seen a punch like that coming, you could block it."

T'Challa avoided Romanoff's glare for a second.

"Even the best warrior can fail if they're… distracted."

Clint's eyes shone with amusement.

"So you were distracted…"

"Yes."

"But what distracted you?" Sam asked.

"I saw Bucky on the street and… I noticed his arm. I just wanted to get closer; I wanted to take a look." He smiled. "I guess I shouldn't have done it the way I did. I should've let him to see me first."

Bucky returned then and moved everyone out of his way to sit next to T'Challa and clean his wound. Sam resisted tried not to laugh when he saw the soldier asking the king to stay still… no, actually it was more like an order.

"Are you hungry?" Bucky asked. "I was going to make breakfast for me, but I can cook you something for you too."

T'Challa nodded and Bucky went directly to the kitchen, followed closely by Natasha, who winked at Sam, before she looked back at the soldier again.

"If you're making breakfast for two, I bet you can also make for three more."

Bucky frowned, but Nat's smile only grew wider.

"Please, Bucky." Clint said. "We're starving."

Sam saw him huff, but he agreed.

They heard him complain about people who couldn't make themselves their own food a bit more until Steve returned. Their captain had arrived to the building, but before he entered the living room, he went to his room to take a shower. Sam watched Bucky rolling his eyes when he got a text from Steve.

Nat was enjoying herself, sitting on the couch, watching them; she even grinned when she saw Steve entering the room, without noticed anyone but Bucky, to whom he walked towards to and hugged from behind while the soldier was frying the bacon.

"All of this, just for the two of us?" Steve asked and Sam had to fight the urge to face palm himself, because his captain didn't know how to be subtle and was looking at Bucky like he was the thing Steve wanted to eat.

Sam wondered how Bucky could not notice. He saw Clint rolling his eyes and didn't blame him; Steve always acted like that when his friend was around. It seemed so natural for Steve to think of them both like they were one rather than two different persons.

"No, actually, we have company." Bucky told him.

And of course then and only then Steve looked around and noticed the rest of them. He even moved an inch, but kept his hand on Bucky's waist.

"King T'Challa."

"Captain Rogers."

"What happened?" He asked when he saw the king's face.

T'Challa told him everything, because Bucky went pale and looked like he wanted to hide from everyone. But of course Steve wouldn't blame Bucky; sometimes he seemed like the most important thing for him was to protect Bucky at all costs.

"You shouldn't have done that," the captain said, looking a little bit annoyed, of course he was talking to T'Challa. "Bucky fought during the war by my side. You must know about us, about soldiers, when most of us return home, if we're lucky enough, we return as different people. We return broken. And Bucky… he had suffered even more."

"Steve, please…" Bucky tried to say, but was quickly interrupted.

"You're right, captain." T'Challa conceded, ignoring Bucky's worried expression. "I'm sorry, Bucky. I really am."

Steve relaxed after hearing those words.

"It wasn't his fault, Steve!" Bucky protested, frowning.

"Yes, it was," the king insisted.

The soldier rolled his eyes, but decided to remind everyone the breakfast was done instead of keep arguing. Sam thought it was the right thing to do in order to keep the peace and not just because he was really starving or because Bucky was an excellent cook… well, it was also because of that.


End file.
